So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
