It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
