what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
