Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
