So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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