so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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