its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
