ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
