We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize