I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
