Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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