Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
