Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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