best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
