we made out on top of his cat.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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