Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
how does that bad decision feel?
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