Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Randomize
