check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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