the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
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