no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Yo dont text me then not text me
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
