i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
