dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
