He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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