# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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