Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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