I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
