we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
