So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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