Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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