oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
