Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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