think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
