I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
