am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
