oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
only you would photoshop your dick
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
