i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
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