His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
