boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
