he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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