Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Randomize
