after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
