I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
