I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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