turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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