He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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