Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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