break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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