omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
