tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
