Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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