Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
