i barfeds in our rink
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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