I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
